Solving for a Crisis of Confidence

Now, this is a story all about how

My life got flipped, turned upside down

And I'd like to take a minute

Just sit right there

I'll tell you how …

I became a Master of My Confidence.

Were you with me? Are you humming the tune?  (share what show that's from!) 

I'll tell you how I overcame a debilitating moment.  I call it a crisis of confidence. 

One go-to tool I use often to regain my confidence is laughter (thus the opening of this article).

Humor is our friend in all times of crisis. 

It helps us take a deep breath, step back to reality, and re-examine the situation through problem-solving eyes.  

Here are a few tips that can help you navigate through those moments when you need confidence but it seems frustratingly elusive. 

As I wrote about last week, my life did get flipped upside-down last month. 

Here's a quick recap: my dad was deathly sick (all good now), a deal I was excited about fell through,  my time was overbooked, and I was then faced with an unexpected & significant financial expense. 

Each of these individually are easily manageable. The sum of all of these pressures hitting at one time, sent me into a a crisis of confidence.

What is a crisis of confidence?  We've all been there.  It's the moment when you doubt you have the capability to do ANYTHING effectively.

In the face of all this chaos, all I wanted to do was retreat into my cozy little shell.

My go-to? Curling up in bed, bingeing old shows that feel like a warm hug (House, Blacklist, White Collar, anyone?), while snuggling with my cuddly dogs.

I allowed myself two weeks to rest, recover, and regroup.

But hiding away in my comforting cocoon for any longer was only going to make it worse. So I got up and chose to face what I call RE-ENTRY, aka re-entering normal life.

RE-ENTRY is hard.

I felt completely disconnected from my audience, my business, and the forward trajectory I had created before this world-flipping month.

The negative self-talk was LOUD, and on REPEAT. "How was I going to re-enter the day-to-day norm? Was I ready? Were my clients and audience even there anymore? Did they miss me? Did I lose all the momentum I had created? Who am I? What if I am no longer relevant? How long is it going to take me to catch up?"

The irrational questions with no answers kept piling up, eroding my confidence with each second that passed.  

I convinced myself I was no longer relevant or capable. 

What chips away at your confidence?  Challenges at home? Potential or actual layoffs at work, huge shifts in your current industry, a less-than-stellar review? Health crises, bills, family conflict?

There are many different things that can happen in our life that can distract our focus and erode our confidence at work. 

And yet, we still want to perform at high levels. 

 So how can you do that in the midst of your personal crisis of confidence?

Here are four things that helped me get back on track.

Try it, you'll like it!

Step 1: Recognize the Doubts but Don't Let Them Paralyze You 

The doubts were strong and yet I knew that I needed to get back in the office and create. 

I am a transformational content creator and even imperfect content is better than no content at all. 

I didn’t really believe it at the time, but I knew this to be true because I had shared this mindset with clients in the past and I have seen the power of getting into action.  

Ever heard the phrase "Bias Toward Action"?  This mindset will get you there.

Step 2: Start Small and Build Momentum 

I started with something easy. 

I responded to emails from my current students — easy stuff resulting in small, quick wins.  That simple act reminded me that I was needed and valued. 

Then, I tackled something harder: writing about my overwhelming experience from a place of hindsight. 

I connected with what got me through this temporary moment of distress. The writing wasn’t great, but it was honest. I fed my thoughts and lessons-learned into ChatGPT, asked it to write in my voice, and it produced something that was mediocre at best. 

I edited. 

I doubted. 

I slept on it for days. 

Then edited, again. 

Finally, I hit send.

Step 3: Face Your Inner Critic 

When I pressed send, that familiar feeling of inadequacy washed over me. 

My inner critic, not-so-affectionately known as "Dummy," chimed in. 

“Oh no! You just laid your heart out in the lamest way possible. What does this article have to do with leading others? Dummy!” 

Usually, I find this voice humorous—it helps me snap out of my funk because, well, I’m not actually a dummy. 

But when I’m down, it stings worse than hot coals on my heart.

Then, life happened.

As an entrepreneur, wife, mother, daughter, friend, and neighbor, there's always something demanding my attention. I didn’t have time to dwell on my self-doubt because, again, I got into action in the other areas of my life. 

Did you notice the bias toward action mindset in full effect there? 

Step 4: Receive the Reward of Action Taken 

A couple of hours later, I returned to my desk, and everything shifted. 

The universe really does give you what you need.  You just have to pay attention and receive the wins. 

I received two emails in response to my article send. 

Both thanked me for the content.  One said specifically, “I really needed that today!” 

Their positive reinforcement was exactly what I needed. It was an "in-service" boomerang effect.  I gave and got what I needed. 

By serving others, I was served the affirmation I craved, creating a reconnection with the confidence that was already inside of me.

The lesson here?

Show up. Serve. Take action aligned with your calling. 

What you put out into the world will come back to you. 

Imperfect action is better than no action in a crisis of confidence.

Keep moving forward, even if it's just one small step at a time. 

It's not about perfection; it's about progress. 

Take those imperfect steps, and you'll find your way back to confidence and relevance.

You got this!

 Nicole Perrotta 

#iamenough; #leadstrong; #bestadvice; #whatinspiresme