Does “faking it ‘til you make it” Really Work?

What if I told you the “confidence” you admire in most senior leaders is often just a well-polished mask? Behind closed doors, 90% of the executives I coach admit to wrestling with insecurity.

And their go-to strategy? The age-old mantra: “Fake it till you make it.”

Ask yourself the hard question: does faking it ever actually make you feel confident?

No. I find that it just adds more pressure and a lot more complexity. That’s why I coach leaders to try a different approach, one originally introduced by Curtis J. Morley: “Face it until you ace it.”

This mindset isn’t about perfection or pretense. It’s about embracing your insecurities, learning from them, and growing into genuine confidence.

Emotion Highlight: Insecurity

Insecurity often whispers:  "You’re not enough!”

And it usually shows up at the worst times:

    💼 Before a big meeting

    🤔 During a tough decision

    🚀 When tackling something unfamiliar

It’s super uncomfortable, until you realize that insecurity is actually a signal that you’re growing.

Studies published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggest that acknowledging and working through insecurity can lead to greater self-awareness and stronger emotional resilience.

Next time: instead of running from insecurity, try seeing it for what it really is 👉 a signal that this is a new opportunity to learn, adapt, and evolve.

Leadership Insight: Authenticity is Your Secret Weapon

Here’s a truth most leaders don’t realize: no one actually expects them to be superheroes who’ve never doubted themselves.

(Okay, maybe some people do, but let’s agree—they’re not reading this newsletter, right?)

Authenticity is what truly inspires teams.

According to Harvard Business Review, leaders who show vulnerability build stronger connections with their teams, leading to higher engagement and trust. Isn’t that exactly what you’re aiming for … and what your company relies on you to deliver?

Not sure how to put this into practice? Here’s a practical way to start: the next time you face insecurity, name it and share your process for navigating it. For example:

• Acknowledge the challenge: “I’m not 100% certain how this will play out.”
• Share your strategy: “Here’s what I’m thinking, and I’d love your input.”
• Reflect on the outcome: “Here’s what I learned, and here’s how we’ll adjust.”

Actionable Tip:

Set aside 10 minutes in your next team meeting to discuss a challenge you’ve overcome recently. Focus on how you approached it rather than pretending to have all the answers upfront.

Then, invite your team to share their own examples.

🤝 Encourage open dialogue by saying, “We’ve all faced challenges like this. Who wants to share a moment they’ve worked through recently? Let’s learn from each other.”

Career Empowerment: Facing Insecurity with Intention

Insecurity can feel like a roadblock, whether you’re leading a team or contributing to one. But what if it’s not a barrier at all?

What if insecurity is actually a signpost pointing you toward growth?

The next time insecurity creeps in, don’t ignore it or try to cover it up. Instead, try this approach:

• Acknowledge it: Say it out loud (to yourself or someone you trust): “I’m feeling unsure about X.”
• Gather data: Seek feedback or resources to help you build clarity.
• Take action: Focus on progress, not perfection. Confidence grows from repeated effort.

Here’s a story to inspire you: Fiona, a project manager, felt uneasy about presenting to senior executives.

Instead of avoiding the challenge, she leaned into it.

She invested time in learning effective presentation techniques, practiced in smaller settings, and sought constructive feedback.

The result? Fiona not only delivered her presentation successfully but also discovered a newfound sense of confidence.

👉 Insecurity doesn’t have to hold you back. It’s often the very nudge you need to step forward and grow.

Shared Wisdom

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” – Brené Brown

Brene Brown captures the heart of what it means to face insecurity with intention in this quote.. Instead of hiding behind a façade, authenticity asks us to confront our challenges, acknowledge our doubts, and lean into growth.

Authenticity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real. And that’s where true confidence begins.

Take Action Now

Think about a moment recently when insecurity crept in … maybe it was during a presentation, a tough conversation, or tackling a new project.

Instead of brushing it aside, take these three steps:

1. Name it: Acknowledge the feeling and its source.
2. Reframe it: Ask yourself, “What is this insecurity teaching me about where I can grow?”
3. Act on it: Take one small step toward addressing it—whether that’s seeking feedback, doing research, or practicing a new skill.

💡 Facing insecurity with intention isn’t about eliminating it; it’s about using it as a catalyst for real confidence.

What’s one step you’ll take today?

Let’s Spark a Conversation 🔥

When was the last time insecurity whispered, “You’re not enough”? How did you respond?

I’d love to hear your story—whether you faced it, faked it, or found a way to grow through it. Share your thoughts, questions, or experiences in the comments.

Your insights could inspire someone else to turn their own insecurities into opportunities for growth. Let’s learn from each other!